is racism now a pissing contest

how did you get here?  how did i get here?  can we be here together?  are we better together?  can we ignore our past? will we ever move forward?  does my like have to become your hate? how can i stop hurting?  is there a way i can help? do you want my help? i want to apologize.  will you ever accept me?  how do we show we are different?  can i just get a good night of sleep?

This is a small corner of my brain right now.  I am not sure I will ever recover from this trauma playing out in the world, I am not sure I should recover or can.  The killer illness was a drop in the bucket of our own manufactured disease.  Thankfully the curtain has been pulled back and some of us are really looking at ourselves.  What the heck is she talking about???

My fervent hope is that we never stop talking about the current events in the world and our part in this.  Sunday Morning had an interview with the grandson of Teddy Roosevelt and he said yes that statue of my grandfather should come down.  Should we cry out over a flawed history that has been spoon fed to all.  I worked with a woman who told me in her high school if you put down on a test that the South lost the war you failed that class.  Should this be allowed to survive or shoved behind the curtain again or ripped out by the roots and tossed on the rubbish heap.  Never. But. Yes.   Can we talk about this, show the flaws, let each voice be heard but not louder than any other.  True explanations not whispers help us.  We must admit that if we have not been on the receiving end, we must have been on the giving end.

This has been a learning time for me, a time of loss, a time of exploration, a time to reprogram my brain.  Like everyone else.  I need to stop the noise in my head, I can’t wait to spend time with people outside my tiny sphere, I am craving travel to new places.  I would love to never hear about how slavery is no longer so let’s just get over it or my families slavery was worse than your families.  My poverty is poorer than your poverty.  One thing that can’t ever be erased is that most forms of racism are based on an external thing that gives no indication of the person inside.  Yes, sometimes it’s not that blatant, but more than any other type it is blatant.  All I have to do is look at your skin or your eyes or your hair or clothing or address or church and my opinion is already formed.  Now is the time for my primal yell to the heavens. Let’s make this stop.  It is time to cut off the head of this monster.

 

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Challenge #36 Shopping Spree

This challenge comes from a small writing group.  We have a large series of random questions that we answer and share.  The goal is to answer at least one per week. My personal goal is to do this for 1 year.

Question:

Do you prefer online shopping or in-store shopping?  Why?

A Shopping Spree

Let me start by explaining that this group was formed in September of 2019, no idea of a world wide pandemic was even a concept at that time.  All these questions were  simply looking at a changing world.

Fast forward to 2020 and this question takes on a whole new meaning and resonates with people who never even considered online as an option.  (Note to self, check with my non computer comfortable friends and see how they are shopping.)  Needless to say, my response to this is very different today than last year.

In today’s world for almost everything but fabric and shoes online shopping is the new winner for me.  I tend to spend less online because I can hop from screen to screen and check out all the prices,  I can also do this at 3 AM when I can’t sleep because I am worrying about the pandemic.  I am not a drunk shopper which some 3 AM shoppers are so no surprises arrive two weeks later.  Some friends are on both ends of this scenario, they will remain nameless.

Fabric is hard for me to buy online.  A friend once said it was fun to watch me in a fabric store because I shop mostly with my hands.  I walk down the aisle with my hands  touching on both sides and my second reaction is to color or pattern.  So I have to be backed against the wall to buy fabric online.

The other thing is shoes.  I have wonky feet and had one surgery and don’t really want more so I do wear the comfy granny type shoes.  My granddaughter is the queen of online shoe shopping, before her wedding a shoe box arrived every other day it seemed. She ordered a variety knowing she would not keep them all.  Some had to be shipped back but some had returns to their local store.  This is a good thing to check when shopping online.

How do you feel about online shopping?  I’s a bit sad to see the changes in the brick and mortar shops.  I would like to see a world where a mom and pop local store could expect to fill a shop and have walk in traffic.  It has been a while since I have been in any remote locations where they have those 10 foot by 25 foot shops that a single person can operate.  There is no mall where that fits, if they have a kiosk the rent is usually out of range.  So maybe online is the only answer now????

 

 

 

 

Blossoming

This is my submission for this week in the 99 word challenge.  This week the prompt was blossom.

The way watercolors blossom on the paper is magical, an extra drop of water changes everything.  Staring at the blank page like a writer seeing magic in the water drops  I’m watching.

Soon I will leave this place and find my true home. This planet is scheduled to reverse it’s course so I can jump off.

Where I land will be like that water drop in the watercolors.  My landing will change the climate and structure in this new place but will it change me?  Without a parachute to guide the spot will be a surprise.  Here goes nothing.

One More Rescue

This was written originally for the 99 word challenge, last week.  Somewhere in my pandemic mind I forgot to post it to their website.  Since all writing is good exercise for the brain I thought I would share this.  The prompt was, I got life.

 

The day started like most others in this little town, waking to go to work or school, getting the lunch ready and eating breakfast.  A large boom sounded in the hills and we felt the earth move like it was becoming liquid.  I reached for a counter to steady myself and my knees failed as I hit the floor.  We were having another earthquake.

I walked our street that evening, workers were removing rubble from a building.  Urgency in their actions.  Stretcher passed from one to another with a covered form as the cry arose, “I got life here.”

Happy July 4th

For many years this is a holiday I enjoyed the most.  Usually we have pretty nice weather and good food and I don’t need to buy gifts  for everyone.  The main requirement in my book is that everyone wear something patriotic and I have a chance to see fireworks.

Stay safe and have fun. This year will be different.

Challenge #35 Wedding Bells

This challenge comes from a small writing group.  We have a large series of random questions that we answer and share.  The goal is to answer at least one per week.  My personal goal is to do this for one year and the end is in sight for me.

Question:

Would you ever sign a prenuptial agreement?  Would it upset you?

Wedding Bells

I would sign in a heartbeat…maybe.  If the person I am marrying has been previously married and has children from that marriage, this would need to be addressed first.  I have seen enough of life to know that some things need to be protected under any circumstances.

If my spouse or I had a business that was generating a significant amount of income I would want to make sure it is protected. If either of us has multiple properties those would need to be addressed.  If there is an aging pet involved it should be covered.  The extensive collection of fine art or antiques probably would be part of the discussion.  If none of these apply it’s still a good idea to make sure both parties final wishes are understood.

Sadly I have seen a wife who ignored her husband’s wish to be buried in the family plot that he maintained most of his life and chose the city site instead.  The husband who gave his wife’s wedding dress to the cleaning lady and not her daughters.  Some of this is done because the other party is not fully aware of the significance or history involved.

I am a fan of having a prenup ready with the list of music I would like to be played at my memorial service and for my many quilting friends, the disposition of my fabric stash.  It just seems like in this day and age it’s safer if you put it in writing.

Challenge #34 The Adventures Of Squeaky

This challenge comes from a small writing group.  we have a large series of random questions that we answer and share.  The goal is to answer at least one per week.

Question:

You are a children’s book writer.  Write the first few lines of your new book.

The Adventures of Squeaky

“I have a special friend and her name is Squeaky.  Her other name is Scarlett and she has long black hair that she wears in a pony tail.”

This actually is the start of a children’s story  idea I have been tossing around for a couple of years.  After I met the child I refer to in this story.  The daughter of a friend who can convey  a variety of messages without using a single word.  Not that she isn’t vocal, but she has turned her voice into a game with the adults in her life.

She has become more adorable over the past few years and now has a younger sister that she adores.  Mom and Dad have their hands full with this pair of adorable little girls.  Perhaps this is another bucket list item I need to add to my bucket?

Good Vibrations

This is for the 99 word challenge based on the prompt.

How long since I felt vibrations about something, it was just a little over a week ago.  A friend put a picture of a quilt block up and it drew me in totally.  I created 4 similar blocks in just over a week using scraps.  Unheard of.   New fabric’s quarantined.

I am now in the final stage of quilting the entire quilt inspired by that picture.

It is 4 faces made from random fabric pieces and things like a purple nose seemed to work for me.  Today a friend reminded me about a quilt show  looking for covid-19 projects to display.

Happy 74th Birthday

I have fulfilled one of my wishes from last year and I made it to 2020…a classic example of be careful of what you wish for.  I will celebrate my birthday in some capacity, not sure yet what that will be.  I am a firm believer in celebrating and have been for a number of years.  It’s my old grandson story, I can see my kids rolling their eyes now.

Several years ago, my grandson was turning 5 and I was gone for a couple of days so I would not be at his birthday celebration.  When I came back, I asked about his birthday and he had a good party.  Next he jumped up and raised his arms above his head and said “See I am bigger now that I am 5.”  He was so excited, how could I not celebrate my birthday as much as possible.

I will let you know afterwards what I actually do.  My plans are pretty low key right now, so Happy Birthday to me.

Fathers Day During Covid-19

My father passed away over 40 years ago and I still miss him just about every day, do we ever get too old to need a dad, I don’t think so.  What makes it tougher is that my relationship with my mom was divisive at best and a daily battle.  In the Unites States we celebrate dad the 3rd Sunday in June, other countries have many other dates to celebrate.

For a time dads were the butt of the joke on television and at the movies, then the switch was flipped and he became the stern authoritarian person.  Occasionally you saw that dad’s really knew best or had a good idea or was just a good guy trying his best.  My dad was close to being the last one at least in my eyes.

My dad holding me in the yard.

As an adult I discovered that one of my brothers thought he was an idiot, another thought he was useless at best and another was very much afraid of him. I adored him and wish we could have had some form of father/daughter talks.  My dad like many of his generation was not a talker, he was the strong silent type.  I can remember only a couple of one on one conversations.  I know he talked to my mom and sadly she used to talk bad about him to me,  how he spent too much money on Christmas.

I am sure life for both of them must have been very hard.  Minimal education and working hard to get ahead, a large family that always needed something more.  My dad always worked at least two jobs when I was a kid.  But I did the same thing, as a single parent it was two or three jobs when I could do it and it never seemed like it was too much.

Must be the quarantine or the social distance from the world that is causing me to be so reflective and missing my dad after all these years. Talk to your kids while you can or more important, listen to them and they will teach you.  Hope all you fathers have a great day out there and just love your kids, hug them extra today.